Zsigs

So, MIT has this IM system called Zephyr that I still unaccountably find useful.  Clients generally let you display a signature with your message that might be some static bit of text or might be the result of a script if you’re more into that.  I have a script that selects from a bunch of sayings, jokes, etc that I’ve collected over the years.  And which I now want to inflict on you.
Please forgive the puns and don’t take these too seriously.

  • Unfortunately the universe doesn’t agree with me.  We’ll see which one of us is still standing when this is over. 
  • Reality is what you can get away with.
  • The truth is whatever you can’t escape.
  • I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.  Then I remembered who was telling me this.
  • I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago.
  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
  • Don’t ascribe to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
  • You can’t know that this sentence is true.
  • Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.
  • The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the unanimous views of all parts of my mind.
  • Don’t immanentize the eschaton!
  • Because anti-induction has never worked in the past I can be sure it will now.
  • Knowledge is power.  Power corrupts.  Study hard, be evil.
  • Put the romance back in necromancery.
  • Everyone generalizes from one example. Or at least I do.
  • You don’t understand society until you can build one out of nothing but signals and incentives.
  • When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however unlikely, is probably an artifact of an incomplete hypothesis space.
  • I, for one, like roman numerals.
  • Debugging is like being a detective in a crime novel where you’re also the murderer.
  • I don’t have pet peeves. But I do feed a number of feral peeves that live in the neighborhood.
  • Napoleon Bonaparte was a master strategist who achieved immortality by living on in the form of delusional people all over the future
  • “Roses” is how / you start poems of this meter / but poems about poems / are more meta and neater.
  • I know not with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with adorable cockroach-sized swords.
  • When did the Japanese start eating eggs?  A long たまご!
  • Usually the explanation for why a thing exists is not the reason it started existing, but rather the reason it continues existing.
  • The adjective “indescribable” is, by definition, never correct.
  • Failure isn’t an option.  It’s mandatory.
  • Start every day like you woke up surrounded by a circle of wizards who perform a summoning spell once a century
  • Omniscience makes reasoning about counterfactuals harder.
  • Any machine is a smoke machine when you use it wrong enough.
  • I believe that inside every tool is a hammer
  • I said raise the barn, not raze it!
  • Remember with increasing sample size, your averages become more reliable - The Ns justify the means.
  • New EA cause area: Banning everything else Thomas Midgley invented, just to be safe.
  • Your eyes don’t see, you do.
  • My favorite three bean soup is vanilla soy latte.
  • You will forget that you ever read this zsig.
  • Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.
  • Made in China? Silly plate, you are made of China.
  • Give a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. teach a man to fire and youll get your liver pecked out by an eagle every day for the rest of eternity
  • When trying to understand entropy, remember that sitting still with your eyes closed will make you ever more lost - not within the universe, but between universes.
  • Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.
  • Blessed are those who can gaze into a drop of water and see all the worlds and be like who cares that’s still zero information content. 
  • The First Rule of Robot Fight Club is you DO NOT TALK about Robot Fight Club, or, through inaction, allow Robot Fight Club to be talked about.
  • Correlation correlates with causation because causation causes correlations.
  • Absence of evidence is evidence of absence.
  • Market exchange is a pathetically inadequate substitute for love, but it scales better.
  • Computer science is like omnipotence without omniscience.
  • Your existence is not impossible.  But it’s also not very likely.
  • Finally, a study that backs up everything I’ve always said about confirmation bias!
  • Nobody is smart enough to be wrong all the time.
  • Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics.
  • Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful.
  • We think much less than we think we think.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
  • Because ten billion years’ time is so fragile, so ephemeral, it arouses such a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness.
  • Language will evolve irregardless of barriers.
  • A library of all possible books contains less information than a single volume.
  • Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
  • Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error.
  • Though through rough boughs
  • I’m just sayin’, everyone that confuses correlation with causation eventually ends up dead.
  • I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, until we’ve landed on the moon, of preventing this decade from ending.
  • If you die in a documentary, you die in real life.
  • My intuition pump won’t turn off and now my basement is full of scary ideas.
  • One Weird Trick to hijack the inner voice of hundreds of minds by posting this message
  • Most supposed conspiracy “theorists” don’t come up with their own theories; they are conspiracy *enthusiasts* at best.
  • Have you tried throwing money at the problem? Yes? Well have you tried throwing it harder, using deadlier forms of currency?
  • Have you tried reducing the problem to a harder one which no one will expect you to solve?
  • Have you tried raising the temperature until you have enough thermal energy to overcome the problem’s energy barrier?
  • Keep your identities small, so you can fit more of them in your head.
  • You are a useful abstraction.
  • I Went To The Platonic Realm And All I Got Was THE Lousy T-Shirt.
  • A society where ubiquitous 3D printing makes the delivery of physical objects obsolete. A post-post society.
  • Appeals to Purity Intuitions Considered Toxic
  • Yog Sothoth is the golden key, the accursed result of the NSA’s demands. Do not call up what you can’t put down, cried the opsec researchers.
  • Known thy enemy and know theyself.  You can combine these tasks and so double efficiency using the obvious method.
  • Consciousness is the weakest form of telepathy, where you’re limited to reading your own mind.
  • A good pun is its own reword.
  • A new drug prevents the brain from speculating. You’ll never guess what happens when you take it.
  • Philosophy is mainly useful in inoculating you against other philosophy. Else you’ll be vulnerable to the first coherent philosophy you hear.

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